My Journey to Independence (through a list of parts marked AA-EE)

If you heard crying and swearing coming from my backyard yesterday it’s because with Luke’s help, I put together a fire pit. To be quite honest, his help was minimal and came with a little bit of back-talk so I’m going forward with taking sole credit for this project.

With several sheets of instructions, tools, and many, many parts I was able to complete my task in about two and a half hours. (Please re-read the last sentence for effect.) Not to brag, but I’m a pretty big deal around my house this morning. My husband, Brantley said he was impressed and seemed sincere. His only criticism was, “I can’t believe you used the crappy wrench that came in the box. Classic rookie mistake.”

Half-way finished in this photo, and it was taken
right after I figured out how nuts and  bolts
work together. It makes so much sense now!!

I garnered so much respect out of this accomplishment that Brantley even sat through half of the telling of my dream from last night. I got all the way through the bear attack and my escape through a koi pond, but not quite to the volley ball tournament before he walked out saying, “Oh my God. I don’t care.” That’s progress, folks and for the record he should NOT ask why I was sleep screaming again unless he is willing to hear the WHOLE story.

Wobbling is cool, right?
Check and mate. Lori- 1. Brantley- 0. 

Least Intelligent Thing I’ve Said All Week

Luke (3 1/2 yrs.) overheard his father and I having a conversation in the car. Without thinking, I made mention of the coyotes that we often hear behind our house at night. Luke piped up, “Mom, did you say we have coyotes?!” Not wanting him to be worried about coyotes outside our house, thus adding to his already vast nightmare material, I said the only thing I could think of that sounded like coyote. “No baby,” I lied. “I said we have..peyote.”
There just aren’t enough words that rhyme with coyote.

PS: If my blogging is scarce next week it is due to the fact that we will be rocking Disney World for eight days. Please pray that I don’t lose my mind and purchase a bunch of Disney themed clothing. Cheers!

Motherhood and The White Powder

I like to talk a big game. I try to portray myself as a super Mom who doesn’t take any flack from her three and a half year old, but it’s time for me to come clean. It is with great disappointment that I admit to you today that I’m not as awesome as you thought. I’ll pause briefly while you catch your breath.
The truth is I’m as imperfect as my son. While I don’t necessarily flood the house, or ride our dog, I certainly have ugly moments. One such moment came two days ago when Luke was being reprimanded. He looked right at my face, and with his sweet little duck lips said, “I don’t wike you.” Normal Lori would’ve ignored him, and walked away, but I wasn’t normal Lori that day. I was sleep deprived Lori, and sleep deprived Lori said, “Backatcha, punk.” He thought it was funny, but still, not my best moment.

However, yesterday I may have redeemed myself in all aspects of motherhood with a little help from my friends. The past few weeks Luke has been experiencing nightmares. He wakes up screaming several times a night, usually four or five times hence sleep-deprived Lori, requiring me to comfort and sit with him until he goes back to sleep. When the sun came up yesterday morning I was finished. I knew I couldn’t do this another night. I decided to make a few calls, and put into play what some would call a big, fat white lie.

I made two calls. The first was to Elizabeth, the nurse at his pediatrician’s office, and the second was to Cheryl, the pharmacy technician at CVS. Because they are awesome, they were both on board with my plan. I walked Luke into his doctor’s office, and he immediately began spilling his guts to Candi, the receptionist. “Miss Candi, I got some bad dweams about the scary bear, and the wolf. They locked-ed me in a cage and I got wost.” I know, right? I’d be scared too.

Elizabeth called us back and explained to Luke that she was writing a prescription for some Magical Dream Dust that would keep away all bad dreams. Luke listened intently as she explained how to use it. “You shake it at bedtime, and sprinkle it around your bed.”

Our next step was to go to CVS and get our “prescription” filled.  On the way there I prayed a little prayer, “Please God, don’t let me get pulled over with a zip lock baggy of baby powder in my front seat.” Cheryl met us at the drive through window where I passed her the Rx along with the bag of goods. She returned a minute or so later, and explained how it would keep the scary bear and wolf away. Luke bought it hook, line and sinker.

When bed time came around last night he helped me sprinkle magic dust all around his bed. I still had to sit in the room with him, but he finally went to sleep on his own, without crying a bucket of tears. Awesomeness. Many thanks to all who were involved.

(Photo by Keith Glines)