Luke-isms (Now coming from the mouth of a 5-year-old!!)

My little guy turned five a couple of weeks ago, and just like his Mommy, he managed to stretch out his birthday celebration for almost three weeks. 

He was paid a visit from Aunt Heather and Uncle Sid, who came all the way from Mobile, AL. There was fishing, water balloon fights, and some serious arts and crafts. 

Then came visits from the grandparents!! Luke got to celebrate with each set of grandparents separately. It’s a pretty awesome thing when you have three sets!

Celebrating with friends…

And after all of that celebrating, it was time to settle down and have some snuggle time with his Dad, his dog, and his new stuffed octopus. 

“Guess what I named my octopus, Mom?”

“I have no idea. What did you name it?”

“His name is Octopussy.”

(Mom gets up and leaves room.)

Pinterest, Parties, and Pearls: Elle Turns One

Last month I turned thirty-three and discovered my first gray hairs, but I didn’t lose my cool. It sounds strange, but I feel as though I earned every one of those little gray babies. I’m getting old and I’m ok with it.

Here’s the part where I reflect.

I don’t regret many of my young-life decisions because they taught me a great deal, but if I could go back and change just one thing what would it be? Would it be to have more patience, or compassion? Would it be to work harder? No, if given the chance I would throw a better first birthday party for my son and it would be epic.

Just three years ago we threw Luke’s first birthday party. At the time, I remember thinking it was pretty boss. (Do the cool kids still say that?) Then, last week we went to a relative’s first birthday party that was complete with every Pinteresting detail imaginable. In walked regret complete with tutu and pearls.

I came home and sifted through old photos determined to find something from that first birthday that would be of equal or greater value to what I had just witnessed. This is what I found.

The photo quality is poor because it was probably taken on a four, or five-year-old camera phone (add to list of regrets), but the sentiment isn’t lost. There stands my better half groping the bosom of a cardboard cut-out at our only son’s Hawaiian luau-themed first birthday party. 

Why don’t you look at some other pictures while I snot-bubble cry, okay?

Drum roll, please. I give you…
Elle’s First Birthday
-Love a nice entry-
-This is mostly where I hung out-
-Beautiful cake, but also note that no one is being groped in these photos-
-clipped to the blinds were “A Year of Firsts” in photo-
-Pearl detail on the refreshment bin-
-The only time at the party that she didn’t act like a lady involved cake-
Is it wrong to want a do-over kid just so I can throw a better party for him/her? I’m sure kids are born every day for worse reasons than that. Quick! Someone tie my tubes!!

Maisie Day-sie

Earlier this week, Luke and I took our friend Maisie out for her birthday. After lunch we had ice-cream.   Then, it was off to the movies to see Brave, followed by shopping at Target. If you haven’t seen Brave, I won’t ruin it for you, but the lead character spends most of the movie saying she wants to change her fate. It wasn’t until the movie was over that Maisie looked up at me and asked, “Why does she want to change her feet? They look fine to me.”
“Bless her little heart,” I thought. She had watched the entire movie thinking that the protagonist, who was barefoot for most of the movie, was self conscious about her feet. Oh, to be five years old.

Miss Mae and Luke

My Super Sweet Sixteen (times two)

I would first of all like to thank everyone for the kind birthday wishes. You have all helped make my 32nd birthday very special. However, all of this talk of growing older has really gotten me thinking about my own immortality. (I did NOT say immorality.) Everyone dies eventually. It’s a fact. So why not prepare myself and my loved ones for this event by planning my own funeral ahead of time.

Here’s how I want it to go down. In the event that Kevin Costner goes before I do, I would like comedian Ralphie May to do my eulogy. Who am I kidding? Heart disease will take him any day. Let’s go with any current member of Jersey Shore: The New Class. I would like the subject matter to focus on the concept of mediocrity in several areas being superior to greatness in one or two areas. That is after all, my life’s theme. The eulogy should be devoid of any of the stupid things I’ve done in my life, specifically the time  I drove backward through a car wash because I thought you paid AFTERWARD, and the super slow head-on collision that almost occurred during that time.

I would like someone in the back of the room to be making balloon animals, while another person sketches caricatures of anyone seen crying. Cigars will be passed out, and anyone refusing to smoke will be asked to leave. Everyone smokes. End of story. Also, I would like for all of the chairs to be secretly fitted with whoopee cushions. This is really starting to sound like a fun party, is it not? I really hate to miss it.

Please don’t think I’m being morbid. I just find it imperative that people make their end of life wishes known ahead of time. I’m thirty-two now. I pretty much have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. When my time comes, my loved ones will be well equipped with the information they need to get that party started.

Clowns can really put the fun- in funeral.