Things That Suck

I hate to brag (just nod and pretend to agree) but I got a new vacuum cleaner over the weekend. My old vacuum was already on its last leg when our fully decorated Christmas tree fell over leaving shards of glass ornaments all over the floor.
Luke, who actually had nothing to do with it, ran downstairs to see what was the matter. He looked at the carnage and cried, “Christmas is ruined!”
“Don’t be silly,” I told him. “Christmas is most certainly NOT ruined.”
The Christmas Tree Catastrophe of 2013 would be the last battle old girl ever fought. Shortly after sucking up all of the pine needles and debris, she made her way to the living room where she exploded all of it back onto the floor.
“Christmas IS ruined,” I cried.
It was. It really was.

Flash forward to yesterday when I was zipping around the house with my new “light-weight” vacuum cleaner. Did I end up overexerting myself? Yes, but in the moment I couldn’t be stopped. I was high on adrenaline. The fact that the iPhone in my pocket had somehow put Mmmbop on repeat didn’t help.
“Man that’s a good song,” I thought to myself. “What ever happened to those three ugly, blonde-headed girls, anyway? Oh, who cares? I have a new light-weight vacuum and a new lease on life!”
Today my floors are clean, but my body is sore- very sore. Like my new vacuum cleaner, it really sucks.