Warrior Moms: What Makes Us and Breaks Us

Yesterday I encountered a scary mommy moment.

Luke (4) had been battling an asthma flare-up for several days. My husband, Brantley and I had been giving him breathing treatments every four-hours in addition to the two steroids he had been placed on.

His symptoms had begun to improve until yesterday morning around 9am when he complained of a headache. By ten o’clock the pain had spread to his neck, which had quickly become so stiff that he was unable to turn his head.

I called the pediatrician who we had seen last week when the asthma flare-up started. He told us to go to the Children’s hospital emergency room so Luke could be examined. He was going to call ahead and let them know we were coming.

After a thorough exam, the attending physician, Dr. Arnold explained that Luke didn’t have meningitis, but a condition that caused inflammation and spasm of the neck muscles. This condition, torticollis, was actually caused by the viral upper respiratory infection that he’d been battling.

Our instructions for treating this was to alternate Tylenol and Motrin and to massage the muscles of his neck to help them to relax. Otherwise, his neck would stiffen back up, drawing his left ear over to his shoulder.

Brantley and I breathed a sigh of relief and we headed home with our little patient.

We prepared for a day of rest and relaxation for Luke. Brantley heated up his favorite blankets in the dryer while I got his favorite Scooby Doo videos to watch in bed. I gently rubbed Luke’s neck, which he didn’t like at all because the spasming muscles made it painful. I hated having to do something that increased his pain, but I knew that it would help in the long-term.

“Mom, can I use your Tempur-pedic pillow?” Luke asked.

“Bitches be trippin,” I thought to myself as I grabbed my Tempur-Pedic pillow and held it tightly to my chest.

Yes, he was under the weather, but had he really just asked if he could use my Tempur-Pedic neck therapy pillow, aka The Precious?

“Here Puddin’ Pop, why don’t you try one of your Dad’s really soft…”

“Lori,” Brantley interrupted. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Give him that pillow,” he said through gritted teeth.

“I was just warming it up,” I lied as I relented and allowed the marshmallowy softness to be taken from my tight grasp. “Anything for my boy.”

As I sit here this morning with a crick in my neck from sleeping on a standard pillow, I want to hear YOUR story. You know you have one.

When was the last time you offered to walk to the end of the earth for someone, only to later realize that the end of the earth was really far away and you didn’t have on comfortable shoes?

I want to hear about it. No judgement. I’m kidding, of course. I will totally judge you. We are humans, after all and we LIVE for shit like this. Go on and share. Make me feel better by comparison.

PS: Luke feels better today. The range of motion in his neck is greatly improved, blah, blah, blah.

I’m In Kelley’s Breakroom Today!!

I’m honored to be featured on one of my favorite blogs today!!  Kelley’s Breakroom is a place where you can take a break from the serious, heavy world we live in and have a laugh- even for a minute. I think the world could use a few more Kelley’s. 

The flattery I’m seeing over there today makes me think she likes me. She really likes me! So do me a favor and don’t tell her about any of my flaws. It would just crush her. 

Click HERE for a quick trip to Kelley’s Breakroom and read my story. You won’t be sorry. 

Drama – Life in the ER, “Shock Value”

It was a dark and stormy night. Ok, not really, but it was a full moon and that could only mean one thing. Psyche patients. Leave it to a heavenly event to bring crazies out of the woodwork and into the emergency room. This night was no exception.

Paramedics had just brought me a sinister looking lad, reminiscent of Charles Manson. He was found passed out on the steps of the Ryman Auditorium and was bleeding from a minor head injury. I was told that while en route to the hospital he had become violent and had to be momentarily restrained.

The man lying before me on the stretcher was in his mid forties with long, fuzzy, brown hair and a beard to match. The few teeth he had were brown and resembled what we call “meth mouth”. Being somewhat surprised at having a PYT for a nurse, he began making comments lewd enough to make a sailor blush. “I’ve never seen you here before,” he said.

Knowing that I needed to set boundaries with my patient I replied, “That’s a horrible pick up line and I don’t care what you have to say. Now let me see your head.”

“That’s what she said,” he spouted back.

Damn it! I had walked right in to that one. I went over to the computer and began charting while keeping an eye on my gentleman patient. Realizing he needed to raise the bar to illicit a shocking response on my part, he got creative. It took every ounce of restrain I could muster not to react to what my peripheral vision was witnessing. My smelly friend had just exposed himself and was waiting on me to turn and look, become embarrassed and run out of the room.

Calmly, I turned and looked at him, put my hands on my hips and said, “Hmm, looks like a penis, only smaller.” I then turned and walked out. I gave him a few minutes to regain his composure before going back in the room and, believe it or not, I had no trouble out of him for the rest of the night.

Don’t mess with Nurse Ratched!