Let Me Be Your Garbage Pail Friend

Just a couple of days after our return from Disney World, I tested positive for the flu. This confirmed my suspicion that Disney World is the filthiest place on earth. Friends and family swooped in to help out with Luke who was still recovering from Disney pneumonia. I proceeded to wallow in the bed for a few days, until today when I awoke feeling like a real person again. I wiped the sleep out of my eyes. Then, I did it again. And, again.
I asked Brantley to look at my eye. He chuckled, “You have pink eye.” I’m not sure what else he said because I was too busy throwing punches into the air. I do NOT sit on public toilet seats. I do NOT lick door knobs. I wash my hands all the live long day, and yet here I am oozing funk and resembling a Garbage Pail Kid.
This only leaves one question. Wanna make out?