Awkward Smoking Stationery: For When You Care Enough to Send Anything That Will Do

I’ve had many suggestions on ways to get Awkward Smoking Pictures into your hot little hands and several of you requested that I make trading cards. While that’s not a bad idea, I think that stationery and posters might be a good place to start. 

As of today there will be a link in the menu of my website entitled, “Store.” By clicking there you will be rerouted to the Loripalooza store hosted by 

Once there you’ll find gems such as these.

This “Get well soon” card is perfect for when a loved one is sick,
 but not really sick enough to be whining so badly.
This card will definitely give your loved one some perspective.
*Highly appropriate for dealing with man colds.*

Think you have to give up mediocrity to achieve greatness?
Think again.
Thumb your nose at overachievers with this
inspirational poster of a smoker winning a race.

Your loved ones will always know that you’re thinking of
them when they receive this unforgettable reminder.

Inspire others with this motivational poster.
Appropriate for every locker room in America.

This Mother’s Day make sure to thank your Mom for
all the sacrifices she’s made with this one of a kind card.

These are just a few of the items that you’ll find in the store. Click here and have a looky-loo. Happy hunting.

Brantley-isms: Valentines Shmalentines

I believe Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday perpetrated on consumers by the candy, greeting card and medical industry in an effort to have us needlessly spend money. Those with partners fall for it hook, line and sinker with Godiva chocolates, and cheesy cards about love. Those without partners unnecessarily decide they must have a partner, if only for one night. That person then goes home with someone from the bar, catches a germ that won’t wash off, and shows up at their doctor’s office for treatment three to four days later.

One of the many things I love about my husband is that he is as unromantic as I am. Most women would’ve been appalled at the question he posed to me last week regarding Valentine’s Day.
“Hey, instead of getting each other Valentine’s Day cards this year, can we each throw five dollars in the garbage can? That’s where it’ll go the next day, anyway.”
My heart swelled with pride. “You complete me.”

I don’t need a specific day of the year to remember that I have the most wonderful husband in the world (when he isn’t being a butt hole). Happy VD everyone.