‘Roid Rage

The boy and I are sick. Have I already written about this? If I have it doesn’t matter because a new day has dawned- the day of ‘roid rage. Keep in mind that this is unlike the “rhoid” rage I experienced after childbirth. This rage is a different beast all together.

I’m on day four of a six-day pack of steroids for Terminal, End-Stage Flu Disease (or the flu, for short). Historically speaking this is the day I sob for hours on end because my husband forgot to put a bendy straw in my drink, or because I can’t locate my favorite camisole. I need that camisole.

Luke (4yrs old) has pneumonia and an ear infection. It may sound more serious than what I have, but then again he isn’t missing his favorite article of comfort clothing and he CLEARLY has a bendy straw in his cup. I’ll probably steal that straw.

The husband asked me to help him make a grocery list. Can you believe that? With ALL I have going on in my life he expects me to stop and make a grocery list. Because I’m awesome I mustered the energy to jot down a couple of items.

Luke’s ‘roid rage rivals my own. Even as I write this I can hear my husband wrestling him into the tub as Luke shouts, “I can be nekkid all day if I want to,” and “That water better not touch me!” Steroids make him strong. I imagine it’s like wrestling an alligator.

Poor Brantley is simply outmatched. I bet he feels like Sheryl Crow during her Lance Armstrong days. He just needs a safe place to go for a couple of days.