Fabulous Quotes From a Visit With My Folks

–Little sister, Leigh, in reference to her new house and neighbors, “The strippers are fine, but the Mormons are driving us nuts.”

–Later, my Mom came into my room. “Lori, take these back home with you.  It’s stationery we got in Gatlinburg when you were about twelve.”
“Ooh, I don’t think that’s really my style, Mom.”
“Well, you can give it to somebody.”
“It says on the front, “A Note from Lori in the Great Smoky Mountains.'”
“Just take ‘em back.”
“Yes, ma’am.”

And, so I brought them home with me, where they reside on my dresser.

You Can’t Hide Crazy

I actually thought on Wednesday morning, “I wish I had something to write about.” Lo and behold, the Lord doth provide manna from Heaven, because shortly after that thought, I received a picture message of my mother behaving badly from one of her cohorts. Off her meds and without a helmet. That’s how my mother was caught behaving at school this week. This probably clears up any lingering questions you had about me. Now you know, it’s genetic.

Now, truth be told, it was camou day at school and she was trying to prove that her lack of camouflage in no way handicapped her ability to blend in with her surroundings. In a way, she was right. Whatever the reason for her garden party, you have to admit that she makes a pretty cute butterfly bush.

Now, please do not contact me to ask me if my mom is using the bathroom in the photo, because A) it is crude and B) I was already told that, no she is not. I also don’t want to know that I incorrectly diagnosed the foliage in which she is housed. I’m a lot of things, but a master gardener isn’t one of them.