McBitch, Please: An Open Letter To #McDonald’s of Houston

Dear Houston area McDonald’s franchise owners,

I understand that you have recently posted signs making patrons aware of your new dress code that state, “Pull up your pants or don’t come in. Try to have some decency and respect for others. No one wants to see your underwear.”

I’m a little perplexed by your motivation. Why would anyone give two thoughts about what they’re wearing into McDonald’s– an establishment that cares so much about the consumers that they add anti-foaming agents and petroleum derivatives to their McNuggets.  

You REALLY have a soapbox? Who are you kidding? You’re lucky anyone still comes into your establishment- pants, or no to purchase your toxic food. 

It’s also interesting that sagging pants are your only fashion-related issue. I didn’t notice anything on your sign mention a problem with short hemlines, or excessive cleavage being offensive. This can only leave me to assume that you’re targeting a specific demographic. Do you really want to go there, McDonalds? You’re opening a potentially giant can of worms here unless you also begin taking offense  at the sight of an exposed bra strap. 

Here’s the bottom line. If you want to be a bigot, then go buy a Chikfila. 


Fatty, Fatty, Two-by-four. Can’t Fit Through the Adobe Hut Door.

A new study has indicated that the South Pacific Island, Nauru, is the fattest country in the world with 93% of women, and 97% of men being overweight or obese. This wasn’t the case a decade ago when the tiny island country’s diet consisted predominantly of raw or grilled fish. However, in the recent years Nauru began importing western food, and the result has been type II diabetes and cardiovascular disease of epidemic proportions, not to mention a passion for the French fry.