Mullet Watch 2012

Thanks to one of my stealthy field reporters for risking it all in taking this photo of a father/son mullet team- a first for Loripalooza. This “business in the front- party in the back” comes from Columbia, TN.

Can I get a, “Yeehaw!”

Mullet Watch 2012

Sound the banjos! I’m happy to report that the mullet is alive and well after being spotted outside of a Lowe’s in Alabama. Who would’ve guessed? The subject, seen here, is most likely picking up supplies for his in-home meth lab.

Thanks to my field reporter, Kerry for the amazing footage.

DinoTrek and Day Tripping at the Nashville Zoo

Today our whole family took a trip to the Nashville Zoo, where every time we go I’m reminded of how uncomfortable it is to walk through the gate at the same time as an obnoxious, out-of-state family. Without a doubt, you always end up walking alongside them the WHOLE TIME. Here’s a thought. It’s flip-flop weather, so cut your damn toenails. If I see one more set of toenails scraping the cement I will have to start a charity called, Pennies for Pedicures.

On a positive note, the zoo has a new exhibit called, DinoTrek and I highly recommend it. It was much more lifelike than I imagined. You can hear how much Luke enjoyed it in the video below. I decided before we went into the exhibit, that if we are teaching our son to believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, then why can’t we teach him that these dinosaurs are real? So I told him they were. In hindsight, I regret that.

I had no idea it would be so scary…

…but it was. 

And, what would a visit to the Nashville Zoo be without at least one mullet sighting? This is the first one I’ve seen in 2012, but something tells me I’m not looking hard enough.

Ay caramba!

PS: When my blog posts are sent out in email form, blank spacing between words are sometimes removed. If anyone knows how to remedy that, please pass it along.

***This is the last day to register for the GPS navigation system giveaway. Click HERE for details.***

Mullet Watch 2011- It’s back, baby!

I was beginning to think the mullet was extinct until my friend, Mary Beth, sent me this photo taken on a tour bus in Savannah, Georgia. It is great to see that the mullet is alive, well, and apparently thriving while on vacation. Thank you, Mary Beth. You have renewed my faith in the American spirit.

Breeding (like) Crazy

Mom, Michelle Duggar, of TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting!” announced recently that she and husband Jim Bob are open to welcoming their twentieth child into the world. Holy episiotomy, Batman! Is that a uterus or a clown car? Their youngest child was born in December 2009 weighing in at a whopping one pound, six ounces and almost four months premature. Michelle apparently became pre-eclamptic in her twenty-fifth week of pregnancy resulting in a C-section delivery of baby, Josie, followed by a lengthy hospital stay. It’s almost as if her body was trying to tell her that she wasn’t meant to incubate and spit out an entire gaggle of healthy children, but don’t ask me. I’m not a doctor.

And how Jim Bob and Michelle keep their names straight is anybody’s guess. They were smart about it, though by picking one letter of the alphabet and sticking with it. “That’ll do. All of our kids’ names will start with the letter J.” A great idea in theory, but now the J-names have run out leaving only “Jumping Jehoshaphat,” “Jimmie Crack Corn” and “Jeepers Creepers.” I’ve got money on Jeepers Creepers.

Will 2011 bring another Duggar child destined to hear their parents say, “Put your flannel shirt back on and get your eleven fingers off of your sister’s third nipple?” Only time will tell whether they become parents for the twentieth time and we’ll find out the same way we always do. First thing in the morning on the Today Show, your coffee not even kicked in yet. You’ll drop your cup, grab your crotch and say a prayer. It’s just another addition in the Duggar three ring circle of life. Good luck keeping a possible tenth daughter off the pole, Jim Bob.

(More) Mullet Watch 2010

“Business in front, party in the back.”

I’m not usually one to jump on band wagons or beat the proverbial horse, but this was a little too easy to pass up. It seems that “Big” Ben Roethlisberger’s business to party ratio is a little off balance, but we already knew that didn’t we?

Mullet Watch 2010

It’s been quite some time since my last “Mullet Watch” entry and I had begun to lose faith in mankind. What changes had our country undergone to cause the eradication of such a marvelous species, I wondered. That all changed during my recent trip to Destin, FL.
I was meandering around Baytown Wharf, when lo and behold, I came across this majestic creature. This particular variety of the mullet, also known as the Moo-lay, or the Achy Breaky Big Mistakey, is normally indigenous to Mexico, but has recently been spotted all over the south. If you come across one during your day to day activities, don’t try to approach it on your own. They have been known to carry shotguns and spit tobacco. Just stand back and admire it in its own habitat.

Mullet Watch 2009

What do Kate Gosselin, Kanye West and He-Man all have in common? An achy breaky, big mistakey. In one form or another, they are all guilty of committing the ultimate hair felony.

Kate Gosselin’s reverse mullet may not resemble the traditional “Kentucky Waterfall” we have grown to love, but it’s a mullet none the less. She does, however, get style points for creativity.

I give her three out of four douchey ex-husbands.

Kanye West stepped out at the 2009 Grammy awards with a look that said, “business in the front, party in the back.” Hey Kanye, AC Slater called and he wants his hair back.

I’m awarding him four out of four angry outbursts.

Last, but not least, is He-Man. The much forgotten superhero is proof that a six-pack is the perfect accessory to any mullet. He really did have the power.

Congrats, He-Man. I’m awarding you BOTH halves of the Power Sword, and therefore the key to Castle Grayskull. Take that, Skeletor.

Mullet Watch 2009

For my latest installment of Mullet Watch I present Dog the Bounty Hunter. His beachy, wind-blown version of this scraggly do includes braids. Good try, Dog but we still know that you’re completely bald in back. I give it three out of four brass knuckles.

What do you call someone with hair extensions who is completely bald on top? Why that would be Rock of Love’s Brett Michaels of course.

You can call it a “mod-mullet” if you wish but it’s a mullet none the less. Due to his clever way of disguising it, however, I give him four out of four herpetic lesions. Good job, Brett! You have just won a month supply of Valtrex.