Category Archives: Polar Vortex

How To Beat The Winter Weather Blues
6
Feb

“Winter Weather Blues” is my son’s nickname.

I’m kidding. 
Sort of.
It’s cold and dreary outside. If you’re like me, (and if you aren’t you probably wish you were) then you’re doing your very best to keep your family, your dog, and yourself from crossing the line from seasonally affected to seasonally afflicted. 

I’m pretty certain I read somewhere that Cabin Fever is more contagious than Herpes. 

Here are some ways we’re avoiding it at our happy home. 
Spend two hours turning a cardboard box into a crappy robot that your son will be totally ashamed of.
Get lost in a sea of arts and crafts. You’ll be feeling very mentally healthy when after a couple hours of this your son asks, “Can we do something fun?” 
Now, if you have the desire to respond with, “Like give you a black eye?” then step away from the scissors and the hot glue and try something else.
You always hear people say “Take time for yourself.” These people are stupid and usually don’t have kids, but we all need something to hit that won’t send us to jail. Just know that while you’re taking time to let off steam there will be at least one unsanctioned bathroom experiment going on behind your back. That’s why it’s so important to make those minutes count. 

Finally, don’t neglect your pet. If you notice your dog is feeling down, then give them a self-esteem boost with a little dental hygiene. He/she will be thrilled about it, not to mention SUPER cooperative. 

I hope these ideas have been helpful. If they haven’t, then feel free to jump off a bridge.

What are you doing to stay sane this winter? I’d love to hear your coping skills, I mean ideas.
Lori

(Barely) Surviving The Polar Vortex of 2014
22
Jan

I’m writing to you from a place called Monkey Joe’s. It’s a place where kids can run wild with reckless abandon while their parents sit in massage chairs and use the free wifi to watch episodes of Breaking Bad on their laptops. 


I’m thankful for this place because there aren’t THAT many at-home, indoor activities I can come up with. I thought there were. I was wrong. 

Earlier this morning Luke asked me to help him make a jet out of a cardboard box. I said, “Of course.” 

Two hours later we were both crying. 

He complained that I cut the holes in the wrong places and that his whole body wouldn’t fit into it. 

“That was NEVER a possibility!” I cried.

“Dad could make it work,” he said.

“Ok, look. I can attach something to the bottom of it so your legs don’t show.”

A short time later I noticed that our Yorkie, Baxter had retreated to a safe place- free from box cutters, hot glue and burlap. I should have done the same.


I’m no engineer, but I was pretty proud of the finished product. It had wings on either side. There were handles on the top for him to maneuver the jet from inside (I crafted them from pipe cleaners, dammit!!). It had two exhaust pipe thingies made from toilet paper rolls that stuck out of the back. Yes, the eye holes were too far apart, but I cut exactly where he had traced them. The final addition was the fabric that hung down to cover his legs, keeping him completely concealed in his “jet.” 

Did he say, “Gee thanks, Mom!” or “I love it!”

No. 

His response was, “I can’t wear a jet with a skirt on it! I’m not a girl.”

I was done. 

“Get dressed. Arts and crafts are over,” I said. “We’re going to Monkey Joes.”

Forget the Polar Vortex. I needed a massage and some grown up TV shows.

Lori