Luke and Sadie: A Relationship Rollercoaster

Luke and I took a trip to Greenwood, MS last week to visit Robin O’Bryant and her three girls. As usual, my little Casanova fell hard and fast. His newest love interest was Robin’s youngest, Lady Sadie.

Luke and Sadie: the relationship rollercoaster

With the big girls at school and Robin needing to run errands, I offered to take Luke and Sadie to lunch. It was our second day in Greenwood and I decided on Steven’s Barbeque- an excellent choice. Luke and Sadie had already chosen a table and when I sat down with our food Luke introduced me to the man at the the next table. “Mom, this is a man we’ve been talking to. We told him that we are cousins and that this is our first REAL date.”

Help me, Jesus.

Luke and Sadie Later that afternoon with Sadie in her tiara and Luke in his Batman mask, they wed. However, it wouldn’t be long before their marriage had its first hiccup.

Not long after the wedding ceremony they were playing Minecraft in the girl’s room and Luke had a cow. I don’t mean he pitched a fit. I mean while playing the game of Minecraft he had acquired the singular form of “cattle.” This was a problem because Sadie is afraid of cows. She stormed out of the room with tears in her eyes as Luke shouted, “Fine, Sadie! Fine. I’ll get rid of the cow!! What do you want, Sadie? Do you want a pig? Can we AT LEAST HAVE A PIG?!”

Things cooled off after they agreed on obtaining a pig for the most pointless game ever created. Side note- if you know the plot, or point of Minecraft, please get in touch with me.

At dinner that night Sadie spilled Luke’s pink lemonade. She tried to make it up to him by tying his shoes. While he was impressed, the lemonade was something he just couldn’t get past. You can see him here breaking things off.

Luke and Sadie break up

In a show of poor taste, he tried to immediately get a rebound girl in Sadie’s older sister, Emma.

“You’re my girlfriend, now!” he told Emma.

Emma was not excited and informed him that she already had a boyfriend. This did not deter Luke from laying on the charm. He began pulling up his shirt. “Have you seen my five-year-old belly?”

Robin interjected. “You know it isn’t really nice to date the sister of someone you just broke up with.”

Luke shrugged his shoulders and pointed back and forth between Emma and Sadie. “Eenie. Meenie. Miney. LOVE.”

Similar laughter and antics continued throughout the week, but none as funny as what I witnessed on our last night at the O’Bryant’s. Luke asked Robin’s eldest daughter to connect their iPads so they could all play Minecraft together. She was wearing her bathrobe after having just showered and told him that she would do it as soon as she got dressed. The second she walked out of the room, Sadie stuck her little finger in Luke’s face. There was fire in her eyes and she spoke through gritted teeth.

“If you EVER saw my sister nekkid I would be SO MAD at you!”

For the first time all week, Luke was speechless and I wasn’t about to complain.

Luke-isms

In his 4-year old brain, Luke thinks everyone is supposed to have their own bedroom. Our master bedroom where his father and I sleep is “Mommy’s room.” The guest bedroom is “Daddy’s room,” and of course Luke has his own room.

Brantley and I have explained to him a million times that it isn’t just Mommy’s room- it’s Mommy AND Daddy’s room. These conversations have all been pointless and you’re about to find out why.

My long-time friend, Robin O’bryant was in town for a speaking engagement, and was staying with us. Luke LOVES her and all day long I had been hearing, “Is Miss Robin here yet?” “Where’s Miss Robin?” When is Miss Robin going to get here?” “Is Miss Robin going to bring she’s girls?”

When Robin finally arrived, he looked at her numerous heavy bags, turned on the chivalry, and offered to carry her pillow upstairs to her room. “You’re going to be sweeping in my Daddy’s room,” he told her.

“Um Lori,” she laughed. “Is there something we need to talk about?”

The “Mommy and Daddy share a bedroom and that’s why they sleep in the same bed,” conversation was had AGAIN.

Later that night, Robin read a book to Luke and told him goodnight. As soon as she gave him a kiss and left the room he started getting antsy and restless.

“Mom?”

“What is it, buddy?”

“I sure do wish I could sleep in that other room with my Dad and Miss Robin.”

How a Mississippi Road Trip Turned Into Three Way

Luke and I are freshly back from a weekend trip to visit friends in Greenwood, MS. We stayed with my long-time friend and super author, Robin O’Bryant. (If you haven’t read Ketchup is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves, then do yourself a favor and order it on Amazon today.)
Luke and I had an amazing time there. Robin’s husband took Luke to a farm where he got to ride in a combine while they harvested corn. He’s still talking about it. “Mom, there wath corn EVERYWHERE!”

Aubrey, Emma, Luke and Sadie

All weekend Luke played with Robin’s three girls while Robin and I drank wine and snort laughed. On Saturday before going to the delta, we visited TurnRow Book Company in downtown Greenwood where Luke lost his mind and had to be carried out kicking and screaming. I told him he couldn’t go back inside unless he was going to apologize to the owner. He refused, so we sat in the car for half an hour while everyone else shopped. I couldn’t help feeling like no one won that battle.

You can see it in his eyes. It was about to hit the fan.

Before we knew it, Sunday morning rolled around and it was time to say farewell. I may have cried a little. “Get it together, woman,” Robin said. So I did. The drive home turned out to be extremely long- much longer than the drive to Greenwood had been.

We were driving along through West Tennessee when we passed through the sleepy little town of Three Way. It was about the size of a postage stamp and I wondered if I had read the name right. A quick google search upon arriving home confirmed my suspicion. As it turns out, Three Way, Tennessee became a city in 1998 and has a population of (almost) two-thousand people. What on earth could a person do for fun in a town that size? Well, according to their events page they’re scheduled to have their annual “Three Way Festival,” on September 29th. So remember, if you’re in West Tennessee on September 29th, and you’re looking for a good time, you should head on over to the Three Way Festival where the man at the ticket booth can expect to hear from quite a few people, “Can I get a refund? I thought this was going to be something else entirely.”.

Author, Robin O’Bryant Comes To Nashville

Funny woman and author, Robin O’Bryant is in town this week for the Nashville leg of her book tour… and to visit me. Incidentally, the Wescotts provide excellent accommodations to their house guests, and would NEVER put a whoopee cushion in someone’s pillow case. Never.

She will be speaking tonight at the Hendersonville First United Methodist Church at 6:30 pm, AND reading/signing copies of her book tomorrow night at Parnassus Books in Green Hills. Details below.

Her book, Ketchup is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves,  is available for sale on Amazon. It has been rated #1 by reader reviews in two genres- Humor Essays and Parenting & Families. WARNING: You may wet your pants with laughter while reading it.

Wed, March 21, 2012
Discussing the topic of “Mommy Guilt.”

Hendersonville First United Methodist, 217 East Main Street, Hendersonville, TN 37075

6:30-8:00pm

This is a can’t miss event! Please bring a friend, and get ready to laugh till you cry (or pee) about the journey we call mommyhood!

Free for MomUp Members, $5 for nonmembers

They will be in the Genesis Hall to allow for more people.

Thurs, Mar 22, 2012

Robin will also be doing a reading and signing at Parnassus Books

Parnassus Books, 3900 Hillsboro Pike, Nashville, Tennessee 37215, 6:30-8:00pm

***If you’ve never read her blog, then click HERE immediately to see what you’ve been missing.***