Bad Dreams

“You’ll never get those sunglasses off.” My niece, Ciara plainly stated.

“Yes, I will!” I tugged and tugged but they were stuck to my face with what seemed like industrial strength cement.

“Didn’t you read the tag that came with them?” she asked. “It said guaranteed NOT to come off.”

“I don’t care what it said. I’m tired of wearing them,” I shouted back.

I awoke from the dream with a start. The strange thing was, my arms actually felt tired. It was as if I had really struggled while I was dreaming. That’s when I looked down and saw the nose splint that had previously been affixed to my freshly fractured and post-operative nose. It was resting in my hands, and my hands in my lap.

I jumped out of bed after realizing what I had done. “I ripped it off! I ripped it off!” I shouted. Brantley finally rolled over and removed his ear plugs. “Why did you do that?” he asked.

“I was dreaming, Brantley. I thought I was wearing sunglasses and I ripped it off like the freaking Incredible Hulk!”

He rolled BACK over. “You have the weirdest dreams.”

All of this excitement occurred before 6:45 this morning. So now, we wait for my 9:30 appointment with the surgeon. Happy Wednesday.

Just Breathe

The Loripalooza well has been running a bit dry the last couple of weeks, and for that I apologize. I have had some personal business to attend to, including my septoplasty surgery one week ago. The surgery itself went well, but wound up being more extensive than the surgeon had first anticipated.

The doctor took cartilage from both of my ears to repair a section of my nose that had collapsed. He also corrected the septum, and removed a bone spur. But, the piez de resistance would be the intentional fracturing of three bones in my face. Part of me is now questioning why I paid money for this??

Luke and my Mom met us at the door when we arrived home from the hospital. As I should’ve expected, Luke summed up my appearance in three words. “Oh no! Spooky!” He cried as he buried his face in my mom’s shirt. I wasted no time getting to bed where I remained for several days, arising only occasionally to socialize with my family. It was during one of these encounters than Luke demanded, “Takey off your mask, Mommy!”

“I wish I could, buddy, but I have some boo boos under there.” I told him.

Luke is growing accustomed to my ghoulish appearance as quickly as the bruising and swelling fade away. I am now in ‘hurry up and wait’ mode as I eagerly anticipate the removal of the splints. I can’t wait to try out my new sniffer, but it probably won’t be for another week or so. Until then, I will just try to breath and enjoy the fact that my sh@! really doesn’t stink.


Love, Rocky Dennis

Brantley-isms

I had just returned from a visit to the ENT and was giving Brantley the details of my upcoming and dreaded septoplasty surgery. When I finished he had one question for me. “Does he do boobs?”

“No, Brantley.” I answered. “My ear, nose and throat doctor does NOT do boobs.”

He sighed. “Well, that’s a shame.”

“Thanks for the sympathy, honey.”