Moms Against Sexy Faces

In response to the overwhelming amount of sexy, or duck-face pictures being posted on Facebook and Twitter lately I’ve decided to combat this problem head on. 


The coalition known as, “Moms Against Sexy Faces” (MASF) has just been born with the sole purpose of discouraging such photographic faux pas. 

MASF wants all ladies of social media to think before posting a sexy face picture. Don’t take this the wrong way, but the photo doesn’t look as good as you think (even when airbrushed).

There will come a point when a sexy facer you know needs a job or wants to run for PTA, and with one quick Google search there it’ll be- the black and white photo they considered artsy at the time despite their obviously drunk eyes and barely there bikini top. Rest assured that this sexy facer will be passed up for another candidate who favors one-piece bathing suits, mom jeans, and sweater sets.

The sexy face photo DOESN’T make you seem young, and for that matter neither does a toe ring, but that deserves a separate coalition all together. MASF can only do so much.

MASF would like to now offer some alternatives to the sexy face photo:

The toothy grin photo (a true classic)
The family photo
The sitting on a donkey at the Grand Canyon photo
The standing next to a national monument photo
The Gatlinburg gift shop photo (a personal favorite)
The “What I cooked for dinner tonight” photo
The me and my pet photo


Still not sure what constitutes an overly provocative photo? Here are some examples.

The following is one wholesome, suitable photo followed by an inappropriate photo- the kind that should never see the light of day. 

A toothy grin and a family photo in one. 
MASF approved!


NOT OK! 
Why?  The overtly grotesque nudity could result in the observer having intrusive thoughts and flashbacks. In other words, way too sexy. (Just between you and me, this was the first time I ever appeared nude on camera.)


Please join MASF and myself in the fight against unnecessarily sultry photos.

Sincerely,

Lori Wescott
President, Moms Against Sexy Faces
(Nashville, TN chapter)

Weiner-Gate UPDATE!!

I normally only wear politics on my Twitter sleeve, but the latest pseudo scandal by Congressman Anthony Weiner, and his Twit pic heard round the world, is just too good to pass up. So many puns, so little time. Where do I start?
In case you’ve been living in a cave, the social media and news world has been in an uproar over a lewd, bun length, photo being sent to one of the congressman’s Twitter followers. This has left Mr. Weiner in quite a pickle (wink). Congressman Weiner has been unable to say whether the photo is of him or not. “Seems like a reasonable claim to me,” said T.R. Wingwang, inventor of the revolutionary weiner cam. “I’ve been photographing crotch for years. After a while, they all begin to look alike.”
Congressman Weiner has insisted time and time again that he has been the victim of a prank, and I would have to completely agree. He was, most definitely, pranked by his parents the day he was born, when they allowed the word “weiner” to be written on his birth certificate.  From that day on, their son was destined to exist amongst a sea of weiner jokes and teasing.
So it is without shame, that I provide the following crude puns.
This Weiner is in hot water.
It may be spelled W-E-I-N-E-R, but it’s pronounced “schlong.”
My Congressman has a first name, and it’s not O-S-C-A-R.
His republican competition is surely not as stiff.
Whether the photo in question is of the congressman or not, I would like to personally thank him for the heaping help of fodder this pickle has produced.

UPDATE:
Tiger Woods, I mean Congressman Anthony Weiner came clean (read: was backed into a corner) yesterday when he held a press conference and admitted, wait for it…that the weiner in question belonged to him! Gasp!! And, that’s not all. Hold on to your briefs for this one, but there is even talk of more X-rated pictures.

What is this world coming to when a decent, married man can’t send a few lewd photos over the internet, and have phone sex from his congressional office? I’m sure no one could live up to a higher standard.

Wouldn’t Want To Be In His Shoes

Fashion designer Kenneth Cole earned the title of Twitter asshole yesterday when he tweeted to the world, “Millions are in uproar in #Cairo. Rumor is they heard our new spring collection is now available online…”  Way to be sensitive there, KC.  You’re joke was almost as funny as rape.  Maybe next time you should stick with sweat shop humor.  It would be more appropriate.  Mr. Cole later deleted his tweet and issued an apology.  In a related story, Kanye West was relieved to pass the title of Twitter asshole to someone else.